hey
so yah
tmrws my bday party
i was gona make it nxt week b/c my mom was al i cant help u balblalba my bk hurts blalba then im like noo
and my bro went from being hte best brother to a fuckin asshole in an hour
he was like so nice and liek dont worry and so il bbq for u blabla and we'll go grocery shopin then hes all uhave to apologize to dad im not takin u till u do, and htats hwere he became an asshole i did an dhes all no yu didnt and im all yes i did u can go call him and ask him and hes liekf ine but im not taking u till i go workout and imliek how long u workin out for and hes all doesnt matter and im liek can u just tell me... an dhes all 2 hrs and im liek ok im goin shoping first and hes all no and FUCKHES SUCH AN ASSHOLE omg! it was so hard to say sorry to my dad cuz he was doin the same hting as 'he' did and it was liek i had to apologize to "him", it was just really hard, an dno body understaood why it ws and i couldnt tell them
omg i miss him so much
i think im in love
if i wasnt hten why wud i think bout him so much
even tho its been liek what.. more hten 4 months since we've talked?
its just screwd up
and im so embarased
cuz i know he doesnt feel the same way
b/c if he did
hten he would have made some reply to all hte attempts i made to talk to him
im so pathetic
i want to tell him how if eel
but i cant take that risk
i cant
hes made me cry so much
omg
it sux
i want him
:(
i compare all guys to him
and i dont want to look at them
and i dont know if i can ever have a bf cuz i alwaysthink of him and im all... hows he gona feel when he sees me with him?
and its gay
cuz i dont think he gives a flyin peice of crap bout me
so he prob wouldnt care
but some part of mestill wants tot hink he cares
omg im so pathetic
i hope nobody ever reads this :|
kk later
luv ya
maya